So since December 2008 I have moved across about 12 states, traveling time zones, climates and now am settled in Lexington KY. I spent two years in Wisconsin- discovered that an average snowfall of 140 inches and the midwest mentality fit me about as well as jcrew petite capris...and I got my Georgia-native tail to the horse capitol of the world. I work in healthcare and have no complaints about my job- in fact this blog isn't about the job...it's about the culture. Tips of the iceberg:
1)Dates via match.com
a )with a toothless engineer whose best line was "No there's nothing wrong with my teeth...I just don't have any" (in response to my query as to why all his pictures were closed lipped)
b) the professor at a community college who speaks in baby talk. All the time.
c) the other professor at a community college who lives with his mom. And refers to it as the "group home". I'm not sure that's any better.
2) The first snow we had over 5" was referred to as a blizzard. When I got out my snow shovel and shoveled our sidewalks (as the apartment complex I work at doesn't do this)...a woman yelled at me that I didn't do nearly enough. Well thanks, I was infact just shoveling my happy tail to my car with MY shovel...perhaps the acid washed jeans, home perm and menthol 100's cigarettes made it too much work for her to shovel her own space?
3) The denim. The cut off mid thigh jean shorts men wear in 60 degree temps with mid calf white socks and white high top sneakers...and of COURSE the Kentucky blue t shirt with sleeves cut off
4) The band called "Local Flaverrrr" who managed to marry the concepts of rotating multicolored lights, long neck off brand beer and feedback in a bar the size of my mom's garage"
5) My attempts at international cuisine: In fact, these haven't been awful. That is until tonight, when, too tired from doing clinic while fighting a cold I found the following review of a local chinese takeout place "This is the best Chinese food I've had delivered to my apartment in Lexington, ky".... reminds me of looking round the room i can tell that you are the most beautfiul girl in the....room
6) The children. The parent's garages. The underemployment. I have decided that single men who have less than 3 kids, a job and who don't live with their mom do not exist here. My mom's response to this "you'll have to like someone SOMEDAY". Yes mom, that is true; but can he at least be divorced...and could the degree he holds not be from an ONLINE NIGHT SCHOOL?!?! The answer? I'm gonna need to drive to Cincinnati. Ironically I left a long term relationship back in Georgia and the themes of underemployment, family who had no education and intermittent digits and dentition are not new to me. The difference? Here they call it bourbon instead of whiskey.
7) The bar flies:
a) T: an unemployed 30 year old man who is strikingly handsome, an alcoholic and lives off gambling and his girlfriend who he refers to as "the temp". He recently had her buy herself an engagement ring. We met watching the Packer's playoff game before the Superbowl where he told me he could drink a pint faster than me. Perhaps Evyan Wagner can tell him the story of Rebecca, the dutchmen in Chicago and the 40oz chug off? Result: he still is buying me drinks due to the gamble he lost with me.
b) S: T's married brother who I also met watching the Packers playoff game. He likes to pretend he's single in order to "practice" flirting.
8) Walmart. ugh. People often refer to it as "the market". No.
9)The sudafed commercial on the radio. A woman with a deep southern accent states "I don't know why those lawmakers want to force me to obtain a prescription at the drugstore to buy cold medicine. They have ways to track the sales already." This was the first thing I heard driving into town. ka boom.
My plans:
1) I am going to discover amazing hiking in the central kentucky region and not end up reenacting scenes from deliverance
2) I will be taking multiple tours of bourbon distilleries
3) I will place a bet on a race horse
4) I will not take a "photo op" on a date with anyone with less than 22 teeth (note I am flexible, I didn't require a full grill)
Please, feel free to join me...on this my new adventure
