Sunday, April 24, 2011

Playin' The Ponies


Well,

We're rounding the corner on the month of April, and I made sure to expose myself to Keeneland. Keeneland is an adult playland where for $5 you can watch horses race, young tan women prance around in inappropriately short dresses on rainy, windy days, and lots of men smoke, drink and bet on bigillion dollar race horses. I myself won $9, then lost $6, coming out behind because of the bourbon, but still gratified that I have bet "across the board" on a horse named Evacuation Route. My other choice, Miss Gracie, scratched, the brat...so my days as a gambler were short lived. What it reminds me of is a saying my godmother used to use. She of course, is always good for either a very uplifting mantra, or can squash an awkward teen's self confidence. The gem I recall is "rebecca, you're a better work horse than a show horse." Looking at these women in fantastic small dresses, prancing around in heels and hats despite 20mph winds, driving rain and 40degree temps tells me in a way she is right. I was wearing a scarf, a north face jacket, cowboy boots and pants...and in no aberrant fantasy land was I remotely interested in spraying my beehive with white rain, putting on a silk dress and showing my bare legs. In that respect, I'll prefer the work to the show.

I look forward to the October Keeneland Race...this one to me should be less rainy, less humid and hopefully people have the sense to cover their limbs?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

i feel like I did that with my mind



The phenomena of a good southern girl is incomplete without fitness. We are either naturally skinny, morbidly obese, or struggling somewhere in the middle. I, for some time now have been struggling. I own a spin bike, 3 kettlebells, a balance ball, a sporty car, a sporty dog...and a big a$$. So...today I took my brand new, overpriced ergonomic "you only need to wear the one" sports bra for a spring jog with my lab, Bailey. Bailey is good, he attracts the right kinds of men, kids and other dogs so that I always make new friends. Today, he attracted 3 off duty very very handsome police officers. What also attracted them during our brief chat must have been my very expensive sports bra suddenly unzipping itself. Seeing their face was a mix of shock and delight, and all I could do was kinda bend over in half as I felt it not only unzip, but pull away completely. This would be a moment where any good southern girl would turn bright red. My response was hollow...a gasp. I wish I had been like "which one of you is telepathic"...however I managed to be very embarrassed and then scuttle away to rezip my chest behind one of those green utility boxes. In true gentleman/redneck form, they simple resumed beer drinking. Sexy points for Rebecca? -50. What I'm debating is how to leave comments for this item on REI.com without sounding like an unintentional stripper. Which, I guess I am.