The fatigue effect on a single organism

When you do a google scholar search on "single" and "fatigue"...it's telling. It seems in nature, when you isolate a unit, a particle, a filament or a fiber, it has a set life before the tiring effort of sustaining integrity against resistance will cause it compromise. In NASCAR racing fatigue is studied to determine the impact of the environment, the turn percentages of the driver, the course of the track and how quick the responsivity of the wheels- in other world, it looks at how shit goes down and what it do to a bolt.

 If it's that simple in the muscle fibre of a mouse, how much harder on a 32 year old woman who carries 10 years of advanced education, a mountain of debt from that education and a house that flooded, and the mental burden of facing a life single, potentially barren... with a family that values grandchildren and husbands over education or professional acclaim. What it means for me is that the unconditional love of a dog, the clambering tendrils of a faith that slips every time you come into too close contact with other believers. and the realities of working your ass off only to recognize you do too rare a job to take a day off- they hit you. I'd like to take 10 days to lay on a beach in the Caribbean...to sustain the repeated oscillations of daily life without feeling "resistance fatigue" or "repetition stress" and allow my motor end units to stop firing.

They never stop.

I dream about patient care, I worry about people who are likely at home smoking the cigarettes that will cause the cancer I helped them fight to return, and I fear the appointment with "new pain" of "larnyx cancer returns!" thanks to the quasi-literacy of the scheduling system who types in "patient has teacheotomy" instead of tracheostomy, and larnyx for larynx...to announce that my job was only partially effective in helping them take control of their lives. I secretly fantasize someone puts the thought and energy into my success I put into others; but the reality is- the only creature that would notice if I overslept is a dog and he's rooting for the snooze button and a Sunday morning without inpatient coverage.